Relationship Experts

So here I am in San Francisco attending the Smart Marriages Conference. This conference is an annual conference where some of the best relationship experts in the world join together for presentations and discussions about marriage, parenting, and families. These experts are from all over the world. They are today’s authors and some of the best presenters in the world. Annually the Smart Marriage conference has somewhere between 3,000 to 4,000 attendees. If people in our society were paying attention we might have 30,000 to 40,000 attendees.

 

I have been very impressed with the experts who have presented. I know many of them by reading their books and visiting their websites. These experts have dedicated their lives to helping society. So today I pay tribute to these fine individuals who serve society by strengthening it.

 

Let me begin by telling you about Dr. Steven Stosny. You may have seen him on Oprah near the end of 2004. Oprah recorded over 30 hours of video tape of him working with a person who admitted he was verbally abusing his wife. Dr. Stosny is one of the most successful experts in treating domestic violence. His model revolves around compassion and dealing with resentment. He teaches people to heal through dealing with their past and learning to express compassion.

 

Here’s a couple of lines from his training yesterday at the conference.

 

• The goal is to train angry people to have compassion. It starts with self compassion which is recognizing where you hurt. These hurts must be dealt with and resolved.
• It is not enough to love. We must believe that we are loveable.
• It is important to understand your core values. Can you imagine being loving and compassionate. He asked each participant to answer this question, “What is the most important thing or quality about me as a person?” The point is this we need to have compassion for ourselves. We need to recognize our strengths and genuinely value self. We are more likely to have compassion for others when we value self. He said, “Nobody has ever hurt another person and felt good about themself.”

These are just a few thoughts from Dr. Stosny. He has written a new book with Dr. Pat Love “How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It. This book is a great book for couples who are struggling to understand each other. I often refer clients to this book who want to read and do work outside of my clinical office.

 

 Dr. Stosny is just one of the many experts that I will be talking about the next few days.

 

On a personal note, my wife and I had our 7th daughter this past Sunday morning. What a blessing. Both Katy (my wife) and daughter (Bethany) are healthy and strong. I have been very blessed by the Lord.

 

Have a great day!